Hey everyone! Sorry for the six week absence. I've just been so busy trying to get a job and all sorts of crap going on. Let's jump into the coverage!

Well like i said, I have been looking for a job. Aggressively. I've been almost spamming Careerbuilder.com and Monster.com, sunday classified ads.. I've had several interviews. I've even signed up with temp agencies! And nothing! Not one damn callback.  It's so frustrating! I am going to have a lot of expenses soon and I need income. This economy sucks. I'm gonna have to find something soon....... ominous clouds lie ahead.

Among the numerous interviews I've gone on, they've included: Macy's, Red Phoenix International, Cablevision, and The Mills Group. I don't mind the interviewing, it would just be nice if something came out of them once in a while.

In other news, I now own the entire series of South Park. All 13 seasons are on the D drive of my computer right now. Now the funny thing is that I used to own them all before, back when there were only like 9 seasons. The difference was that that time, I downloaded them one at a time through Limewire. That took for EVER.  Now I've learned to use BitTorrent, and I download whole seasons at a time. It's sweet as hell.

Speaking of downloading stuff, I've recently come across a wonderful little program called DosBox, which is an emulator that simulates a Dos environment, and lets you run all the old Dos games from yesteryear, such as Commander Keen, Super Solvers, Carmen Sandiego, etc. So I've downloaded like, all my favorites from when i was like, 10. And a few new ones too. They're mostly abaondonware, so they're free. Why do I mention this?  Well... head on over to the next paragraph.

Welcome to a new segment: Dos Game Revue.

This is just a small paragraph or two where I'll talk about one of my favorite DOS games, and the memories it holds for me. Today's topic: The Monuments of Mars. This is a game that was made for DOS and was never ported to anything else, ever. You are an astronaut trekking through caves and cities of mars, solving puzzles and killing aliens. The graphics are very simple, yet nicely done: the whole level is shown on the screen at a time. There are wavy green force fields, colorful aliens, and deadly traps. You have infinite lives; if you die, you start at the entrance of the level, and your gun charges and score revert to when you first entered the level. So if you use up all your shots and then die, you get them back.  The object is simply to pass through each level by finding one or more card keys, and clearing the way to the exit by flipping switches or causing platforms to apppear.

This game holds a very happy memory with me. I first saw this game being played off a 5.25 disk at the Dunellen Public Library by another kid. Two or three other kids besides him were gathered around watching, and I joined in. I was immediately drawn to the game because of the graphics, and because it took place on a black background. For some reason I've always found those games more appealing, such as Pac-man, the night levels of Super Mario, etc. I have no idea why.  Anyway, one other day at the library there was nobody on the computer, so I asked the librarian if I could play The Monuments of Mars. She gave me the disk, and after I had played a few levels, a few other kids had come to watch. This meant that I was the focal point of attention, and at that point in my life, that was totally awesome.

I never got to play it at the library again, but I did rent the disk and copy the game to my computer at home. That's how I beat it. Heheh.

All right, enough typing for tonight. Stay tuned for another segment and of course, more about me. Chau!

~Paul

Hello. That little comment in the title is meant to express my contempt for the NES baseball series Bases Loaded. Here's why: there are NINE different positions the bat can be swung in, and an equal number of directions to pitch. Therefore, you must match your swing to the direction of the pitch. Sounds simple, but the view from the mound to the plate is so awkward that it's almost impossible to tell which of the nine positions you're supposed to swing in. And a lot of times what looks like an obvious ball is called a strike.   Other than this annoyance, I have no complaints about the game. The fielding works well and the graphics are great. But that nine position thing is enough to make me never want to play the game.   People, if you want a baseball experience on the NES, you're much better off with "Baseball" or Baseball Simulator 1,000. Don't play Bases Loaded (any four of them) unless you're sure you can match the swings.

And with that, I bid you adieu. I might post longer tonight.  And if perchance I offended you with my subject line, pretend you were only dreaming.

P.G.

Hello peoples. Not much going on today. I have been enjoying my NES device and also looking for a job. I have signed up with a staffing agency and hopefully they will come through for me but in the meantime i continue to be vigilant.  I have also discovered how to re-use my paypal balance to get more stuff from ebay, So i have 5 new NES games headed my way. They are: Zelda, Rad Racer, Jeopardy, Pinbot, and Super Mario 3. So excited.

Meanwhile, you may notice the new userpic. We were outside doing yard work, my uncle and i, when i got that inspiration. But to truly appreciate it you need to see it full size. So click this link.

The Full Userpic

Isn't that awesome?

Okay, that's all for today. Hope you've gotten your fix. Buh bye.

~Paul G, meek before the task

Hmm... well let's see... I guess I should start with "Hey people, let's get to the coverage," but so much has happened I'm going to leap right in.

My computer got attacked. Big time. It kept restarting itself, and then this new "security" program showed up that filled my screen with popups and asking if i wanted to install shit. Luckily i knew to say no to all of it. But it was so bad... i got a blue screen lockout and finally said FUCK IT, and I did a System Restore to factory-shipped settings... which meant I had to reinstall every single frickin update and driver... took me two days... plus I lost a lot of my programs... all my files were saved though. Thank God. Just a big frustrating mess. And then... and THEN... my confidential counterpart Bella tells me all I had to do was start up in Safe Mode and do a Restore Point thingie.... WELL GEE WHIZ! >.<

Next! I hope you were all touched by the eulogy for my NES. And then for some time i was without. And then the replacement I ordered came in the mail. A "Retro Duo" system made in China that plays NES and SNES games. AND IT WAS OF COURSE BUSTED! I was so mad. But I exercised great self control. I contacted the people who sent it to me and i'mma get a refund. But boy, that sucked. It ruined my whole day.  So then I wondered what to do.

And then I found a store in Clifton, NJ that sells all nature of retro games. It is said by google to be The Ultimate Retro Game Store in the United States.  Lemme explain... They had a whole shelf... for Oddyssey 2 games! That system is older than sin! They had COLECOVISION! They had ATARI! Tons and tons of old old games. And they had the full back issues of Nintendo Power! They sold the Sega Nomad!   But I'm digressing. I wound up getting a handheld NES player. The cartridges go right in the top. But I didn't get it for it being a handheld. I got it for that PLUS it hooks to your TV and works like a regular NES. They also give you wireless controllers and a gun. It is... so freakin sweet. And the games all work on the first try. Except Rad Racer 2... i seem to have lost that one.

View a picture of my new toy here.

Hmm... actually I guess there's not that much going on. I was just excited about those two things. OK goodnight!

~P.G.

P.G. + N.W. FTW

We are gathered here today in the presence of God, and also in the presence of the natural forces of the universe, to say goodbye to the Nintendo Entertainment System owned by the Goldner household from 1989 to 2009. Throughout these twenty years, the NES has built character. It has both ruined days and provided enjoyment. It has caused privileges to be taken away, but it has also enriched our lives.

Our NES was bought in the summer of 1989, and came with Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt, an orange zapper, and two controllers. To me, this was the satisfaction of my innermost desires... to move up from the Atari and join the collective group of NES users. From this point forward, the NES was the source of much enjoyment, but also of stormy tantrums. I got frustrated when I could not pass a part of a game. I often got my privilege to use the Nintendo taken away because of this. Now that I am older and have gained wisdom, I see now in this late hour that the NES was subtly teaching me that life isn't always fair; you cannot always do all that you wish immediately. It was indeed wiser than all of us.

I have fond memories of the NES and how it got involved with my life... my late grandpa, Shelly, was visiting with my grandma one day when i couldn't have been more than 7 or 8... I was playing Super Mario Bros, and I had just beaten a "big castle" for the first time. These stages were called "Dragon levels" by my friends. I was ecstatic, and I leapt off the coffee table and declared, "I did it! I did it! I beat the Dragon Level!"  My grandfather got to his feet, shook my hand, and said "My congratulations go out to my grandson for beating the dragon level!" And to celebrate, he took the family out to dinner. I later of course knew that we were going out to dinner anyway, but still, it was an amazing moment in my young life.

Another fond memory was my birthday party when I turned 10. We had a pool, and about six of my friends from school came over for swimming, and then they slept over. And we all took turns playing the NES together. Just that feeling of brotherhood that that moment generated was very life affirming.

Our NES leaves behind its adaptor, RF switch, and 19 children: Crystalis, Megaman 3, Metal Mech, Wizardry, World GP, Baseball, Rad Racer 2, Pinball, Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 2, Super Mario Bros. 3, Xevious, Wheel of Fortune, Pac-Man, Donkey Kong Classics, Bases Loaded!, Super Off Road, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They are all still of sound mind and form, and will surely continue to bring delight to our home after our third party NES/SNES machine arrives from Amazon.com later this week.

In closing, I leave you with a question: Why?  Why does one continue to play NES, to buy games and accessories for an NES, when so much modern technology exists that can duplicate the experience? Why does one play the original game, with only three lives, when you can emulate the game and do save states? Or have infinite lives with Game Genie? Or why would one still insist playing the NES when they own a flash card that can play almost any system? I think it's because the NES experience is unique and unduplicable, and it carries a certain element of fun that cannot be found anywhere else, especially in this modern day. Even the feel of the original rectangle controller, with its few buttons, reminds one of the happy days when the system was in its prime.

We shall all move forward, as inevitably as the suns set. But we will never move ahead so much that we cannot all come back together, and reflect.

R.I.P. Nintendo Entertainment System
1989-2009

Whoaz0rz, I have not updated in quite some time. Sorry about that. Well, let's get on with it, shall we?

First up on the coverage: we had a yard sale this past weekend, at which I attempted to sell my Atari, NES, and Intellivision. My thought process was that they were rarities and that people would want them. But nobody bought them!! So I decided after the yard sale that I would sell them on Ebay. But then... The NES died! And I don't mean it temporarily overheated or something... it's DEAD! So I had to pull the Ebay listing. But it did give me an excuse to order one of those top-loading 3rd party NES/SNES machines. Now I just have to come up with a clever way of explaining it to He Who Opens My Bank Statements.

Next up: My job hunt is going very slowly. I just hope I find something before summer class runs out. Or else I fear that I'll have to start paying rent.

Finally: My father and I tried to replace the battery in one of my NES Zelda games... I thought it would be a simple procedure... but it's not. Turns out soldering, safety goggles, and an X-Acto Knife are involved. But we didn't know. We tried prying the battery off with a screwdriver....  anyway, needless to say, that cartridge will never work again. Tragedy.

Ok that's enough for today. Keep it as fake as possible!!

~Paul G.

Are you happy, Nikki? :-P

Hey people now. Sorry for the delay in posting. Let's get right to the coverage!



Firstly, I have a job interview tomorrow! It's with Aflac Insurance. Yes, the one with the duck. No, I will not do  voice sample of the duck. But yes, duck a la ronge is delicious. MOVING ON!  The place is right close by; yesterday my dad and I took a drive down there to see where it was, and it's a good thing we did, too, because if we didn't, I'd never have found it. It's stuffed into this little complex of itty bitty office buildings. But my dad is always willing to help me. As a matter of fact, almost everybody I meet is willing to help me in some way, which I am always humbled by. But enough sappy shit.

I think that's all I'm going to post for now. Okay.. keep it real, everybody! PEACE! Over and out! Later, Gator! <129883 Final Cliched Farewell Not Found>

Hello people now. I was going to post an entry last night, but I had a brain fart, and when I went to open my web browser, I forgot why... so I wound up watching Failblog videos for an hour. Oh well. Anyway, got some coverage for you.

First on the agenda: I HAVE TWO JOB INTERVIEWS NEXT WEEK! Some of you may already know this. Those who are on my address book received a jubilous email from me. (Is that a word, jubilous? Who knows.) (The Shadow knows...) (Quiet, you.) Anyway... one of them is for Aflac Insurance, and the other is for a NJ based-company called PMA Concepts. They just called me out of the blue. I was sleeping late, since yesterday was my day off, and there goes my phone, not once, but twice. They saw my resume on Careerbuilder.com! Talk about good fortune. However, I may need to cancel one of the interviews, since the location given on the website is apparently incorrect and I'd have to drive almost an hour each way. But who knows, I may be an Aflac Insurance salesman soon! That'd be sweet for a starting gig.

Next up: My summer class! Two periods have elapsed thus far. It seems..... easy. So far all we've done is make decisions for this business simulation game we're going to be playing throughout the whole class. And the whole class today was almost entirely down time, so I got to play my DS for most of it. My teammates are very nice and I think that this class isn't going to be the horror I was expecting. The only thing bothersome is the commute. But, there are worse things.

Thirdly: (and lastly? I don't know if I'll think of a fourth thing while I'm typing this), I've recently become enamored with games of the style "run and gun", or as some of you refer to them as, SHMUP, standing for SHoot eM UP. These usually take the form of land-based weaponry games, or aerial (or outer space) airplane combat. I have several that I am enjoying, including Metal Slug 7; Commando: Steel Disaster; Nanostray 1 and 2; and Contra 4.
Contra 4 is basically a jazzed up remake of the original Contra game. Same style, but new levels and bosses, etc. You can also have two weapons at one time. And if you die, the one in backup remains, so you can get right back to asskickin. This game also apparently has the NES Contra as an unlockable, if you beat the main game first.  ...Yeeeahh... Not sure when that's going to happen. LOL.
Commando: Steel Disaster is very similar to Metal Slug, and is almost as enjoyable. Except for the fact that the levels are huge. I, myself, have not made it off the first stage yet. You only have one life, and there are no continues. (You have a health guage, that starts at 99, and you can get armor too, but still... some continues would be nice!!!)
Nanostray attempts to perfect the Galaga-esque space shooting genre we fell in love with. (...What? You didn't?  It was only me?? Well... I don't care! Don't judge me!!) Yeah. You shoot swarms of small ships and laser off really big ships. You have 5 different weapons you can switch to at any time, and each one has a normal shot (unlimited) and a power shot, which you can refill the energy for by destroying the plentiful swarms of ships. Nanostray 1 gives you a health allowance before each death, while Nanostray 2 goes the evil shooter route and makes 1 hit from anything an instant death. Still, the graphics are just amazing, and both titles are absolute joyrides, if you can tolerate the many, many deaths.

Ok, I've thought of a fourth thing! Yay! And here it is: ALL THIRD PARTY CONTROLLERS ARE CRAP!!! Yes that's right. Not more than a month ago I bought a Pelican Gamecube controller, it was very large and fit in my hands well, it had great control and I absolutely loved it. (Erase all context after the word 'controller' back there to get a nice hidden innuendo.) Well as I said, it hasn't been more than a month... AND THE UP DIRECTION ON THE STICK STOPPED WORKING! I am outraged, for two reasons: ONE! Because I got gypped. And TWO! Because Nintendo doesn't sell official gamecube controllers anymore! I must scrounge around in the wastebin of the second hand game market to find a replacement! Oh pity me! Pity me! ... or don't. I'm fine with that too.

Finally this evening... I was making the U-turn onto Sand Hill Road from Route 1, some of you may know that location. There's a bevy of cars already waiting to go, so I'm forced to stop at the stop sign and wait. (There's a big honkin' sign there that says DO NOT BLOCK INTERSECTION. And i'm not typing that way for emphasis. It really is in all caps.) So there's this friggin red sports car behind me, doesn't even have plates yet, it has that paper thing in the window... he keeps honking at me, going 'Get the fuck out of the way!!' I had no way of trying to tell this person that I was waiting to turn into the lane going straight, which was already full, and I would have been BLOCKING INTERSECTION. So this jackass steps on the gas, swerves to the right, which is a right turn only lane, pulls ahead of me right into the U-turn-intersection-thingey, swerves BACK to the left, guns it and makes his precious little left turn, with no regard for the traffic.  ... What a prick, ya know? Probably some young fuck who just got his license and wanted to show off the speed of his new car that daddy probably bought him with his ill-gotten money. Fuck him.

And that is all for today! Keep well, all of you!

~P.G.

Well here I am again. I wanted to briefly review/discuss a movie I saw on the cruise: it was the live action version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It was in color, so it couldn't have been like, the oldest version... But anyway, I was amazed (but in retrospect unsurprised) at the stark differences between this one and the Disney version (Which is all I knew about the story growing up.) I will now share some highlights.
First of all, Frollo is not some badass high power ruler as he is in the Disney movie... he is the archdeacon of the church. And there's an actual King of France who is the one sitting like, at the festival of fools and stuff, not Frollo. He's much less badass, and is usually referred to as Don Frollo or sometimes Claude, which is his first name. They said that once in the Disney movie, but that was it.
Also, a lot of the plot points were moved around in the Disney version. Like for example, when the soldiers are trying to break into the cathedral and Quasi pours lead on them and stuff, after that there's still like an hour of movie. Compared to Disney where that's during the climax.
Also, Quasi behaves pretty much like a man instead of an impish boy like in the Disney one. And there are a couple of scenes where he and Frollo get along pretty good, or if not 'getting a long' then at least making conversation without animosity. (And yes, I know that Frollo gets whip happy in one of those scenes, but that notwithstanding...)
Anyway, the main plot is changed around too.. apparently from what I gathered, Esmerelda is believed to have killed a church official and is going to be hung, and the whole movie pretty much revolves around that. Turns out it was Don Frollo who killed him, and Quasi eventually dangles him over the wall of a cathedral balcony to make him confess. And yeah, there are still a couple of scenes where Frollo gets a bit knife happy towards Esmerelda and Quasi... I won't elaborate any more than that, since there may (or may not!) be a spoiler.
But I have to say that I enjoyed the movie, more so than the Disney version. Of course, I'm biased against any Disney animated musical farce these days, so that's not really a fair statement. But who cares. My blog, my rules. Yay.

Ok. I have characters on Mario Hoops: 3 on 3 to unlock, and I'm hungry as well. Hasta!

~Pohl Jee

P.S. The subject line refers to the fact I was bent over for two hours cleaning up 'helicopters' from the back yard.

Well well well. I'm back. ...Obviously. And I suppose you want to hear all about my vacation. Well... okay. Sure.

It was freakin AMAZING! First of all, all that stuff they said about the airport and all the clues they gave me beforehand were FALSEHOODS! They admitted this to me! We actually went on a cruise to Bermuda for five days!!!  They blindfolded me in the car so I wouldn't see the ship on the horizon... and you would, too, because it was HUGE!!! Absolutely gigantic, and OMG the inside was amazing. 15 floors, and it had things like its own Johnny Rockets, a VIDEO ARCADE which contained, among several dozen other games, the arcade versions of Mario Kart, and Guitar Hero.

The pool area was magnificent. Lots of little pools scattered around, as well as several hot tubs. I sat in the hot tub for about two hours at one point. It was just... paradise. There was also a casino, a performance theater, a movie room, and.. oh yeah... FOOD! There was almost limitless free food. And you know what they say about cruise ships. "What time is it?" *checks watch* "Oh! Time to eat!" Yeah.. basically that.  Dinner was the best though, because you sat with other people in a big dining room. The first dinner night was formal night, and it just felt so great to be all dressed up and sitting with other adults who were dressed up, and we were talking about adult stuff... I truly felt like a big shot for the first time. And our dinner companions were very nice. The gentlemen next to me would order two appetizers, two entrees, and two desserts at every meal. I bet he was the kind of person that my dad says brings two sets of clothes on a cruise: one for when you get on, and one for when you get off... because you're two different sizes.

So the first two days we were at sea and we enjoyed life on the ship very much. We had a HUGE room, with a HUGE balcony. See, my parents are platinum members with this unnamed Norwegian cruise line, because they have taken five cruises already. They take one every friggin January to celebrate their anniversary. When my biological parents were married for their anniversary they'd celebrate by going to a restaurant where you need a reservation. (I don't think there was even sex involved in those later years.) Then on the third day we docked in Bermuda and went sightseeing. We went to Horseshoe Bay, some of you may know that. It's a popular beach there. And we went to the local shops and stuff. At 5 on the fourth day we left to come back home, but it was nice to have another day at sea just being able to enjoy the ship.

At the Johnny Rockets on board, the wait staff sings and dances to 50's music. It was a little awkward, especially when the lady was in the middle of taking my order, the song came on and she had to join the dance line.  We also saw a comedian perform at the theater. Louis Johnson, he's been on Comedy Central and BET. He was really funny. I'll share a joke or two of his in a future post. You've had enough to read already. But guess what.. there's still more. Hey. HEY! Sit down! That's right.

So enough about the cruise already... what else? OH YEAH! My COMMENCEMENT! That was this morning, I had to get up at 5 a.m. to get there before the traffic. It was a lot of standing around waiting for instructions, and then the procession out to the stage took for-freakin-ever... then a lot of sitting mixed in with "please rise for such and such". The sun was beating down on me and my hands (the only part of me not covered) got torched. It was nice though. The people who came included:

• My dad
• My dad's wife
• My stepmother's brother
• My stepmother's father
• My mother
• My mom's parents
• My mom's husband

So it was nice seeing everybody. After the excruciatingly long procedure of calling out every single graduate's name, we took some pictures, then went to lunch at Harold's Deli. I will describe that to you in another post as well.

And that's pretty much all that's happened since I last had a chance to post. Pictures are on the way, I have to upload them still. And I used some Best Buy gift cards to order a new MP3 player, this time with 2 GB and a video screen. On Tuesday I start summer classes, and in the meantime I've made a profile on Monster.com to look for a job, so we'll see how that goes. I'll probably check some rom sites to see if any good DS games were released while I was gone, and I'll most likely spend my down time playing NDS or GBA and chatting with my buddies.
Which reminds me, I'm so excited for my one friend, he's a huge sports fan and especially a fan of lacrosse, and he just told me that on Memorial Day weekend he's going to see a double header of the NCAA Lacrosse League. "Now Paul," you say, "Why would you be excited about that?" Well it just so happens that I can get joy from my friends being joyous. I'm just that badass. ^_^ Plus I can remember the first time I did many things that I was passionate about, and I had people be happy for me. So... Joy all around!

I think I've talked your ear off enough for one day. Even though I did no actual talking. Don't judge me and my incorrect figures of speech!  Ok! Goodbye!!!

~Paul G